We Done Wrong America, It's Time to Admit It

I've been discussing a lot of current issues and events with a friend. I will be sharing his writings when he is done with them, as they led me to thinking about and writing this blog post. If he gives me permission, I will also share a SoundCloud of some RAW truth and profound thoughts.

If you claim to be a Christian, hear me out. If you don't claim to be a Christian, consider what should be done if you have done someone wrong. If you would agree that apologies should be made and that reparations may be in order depending on severity, then hear me out.

I have referenced the following Bible verses for Christians to apply to my ideology (with credit to my friend for the sexual abuse analogy):

Exodus 34:7, "Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting (punishing) the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation."

Lamentations 5:7, "Our fathers have sinned, and are not; and we have borne (been punished for) their iniquities."

We, the United States of America, freed the slaves, but there has never been action to free the spiritual, emotional, and psychological bondages that our government and it's people created for those souls. Those bonds have lingered on generation after generation, year after year. Those bonds will continue to linger until forgiveness is sought and reparations are made.

Whether or not you do or don't believe in a God, I know you have knowledge of what abuse does to the mind of a person, especially if the abuse endures throughout your childhood or lifetime. What do you think abuse does to generations of families when spanned over 300 years?

No one wants to think of their government as monsters, and they especially don't want to think that the police that are sworn to protect them are evil. However, when faced with the horrors of what our ancestors did to slaves, Indians, and other groups of people they deemed less than human, how can we not question the trust we put in them? Even if you don't think today's police are evil, yesterday's police were extremely corrupt at the very least, participating in unspeakable acts of lynching, raping, and mutilating human beings. Our government didn't just abuse blacks one time. They abused them AND THEIR CHILDREN for hundreds of years. Hundreds.

If you don't think those hundreds of years of enslavement and physical, sexual, and psychological abuse have tremendous effects on today's people you are dead wrong. If you are Christian, then 300 times 4 generations equals 1200 years of generations that will pay for the wrongs of their ancestors. If you are not Christian, that's millions of people who endured horrible abuse and never received reparations for that abuse. We allowed devastating behaviors to trickle down generation after generation without taking the time to right the wrongs, psychologically. The wrongs are plain to see if you just study history.

After slaves were free, white supremacist teachings still continued, and some of these teachings even continue today, though they are thankfully not as prevalent. Those teachings should have been outlawed and those caught teaching it should have been punished to the fullest extent of the law so as not to pass that hate onto the generations to come. If you don't believe those behaviors trickled down in our law enforcement agencies, then you are fooling yourself. People live what they learn.

I want to make it clear that I don't think all police are bad and I am NOT okay with killing anyone. I think the policing system needs an overhaul in the way it is done and that won't happen until one of 2 things happen. 1. Government admits it was wrong and changes the way policing and imprisonment are done. 2. War against our government.

When a sexual predator abuses a child, we want him punished to the fullest extent of the law. Our government, Uncle Sam, has been killing AND fucking black people up the ass for hundreds of years. If we don't think Uncle Sam needs to make some reparations, do jail time, or fucking die, then we need to free all the rapists, child molesters, and murderers we have ever put in jail.

Who wants therapy from their abuser? Trusting our government, creepy old "Uncle Sam" to make reparations in an attempt to make amends, would be like getting therapy from an abuser.

People continue to wonder why black people are afraid of the police. Hint: Abusers are triggers to a victim's deepest fears.

When a victim is faced with their attacker over and over and over, they are eventually going to fight back. They are not going to allow the abuse to continue. If your child was being raped, I think you'd cut off the appendage you deemed appropriate for the crime. What part of our government's appendage is doing the most damage today? The judicial branch. CUT IT OFF.

We could even cut off all the branches and start from scratch.

What do you think?

FemmyCycle Review

"Say goodbye to pads and tampons!

The FemmyCycle is an innovative menstrual cup that is safe, cost effective, and most important, minimizes the mess and leakage associated with almost all other feminine sanitary products. The FemmyCycle ® is ideal for active or athletic women."

The above was copied and pasted from FemmyCycle's website. :)

You may or may not know that I switched to RUMPs (reusable menstrual products) and no longer use disposable tampons and pads for my periods. It has been as wonderful as periods can be and loads better than using disposables. If you are having a response of "ewww" or "ick" or "that's gross" right about now, I totally get it, but keep reading. At the end of this blog I have placed some links to some blogs addressing those very things and maybe they'll change your outlook. If nothing else, I hope I will at least get you thinking about how you can help the planet's pollution problem.

My first try with a menstrual cup was the Diva size 2. There was a learning curve, but once I was inserting it right, I knew I wanted to keep using a cup, but I was getting cramps from the firmness of the Diva cup. I went to my FB RUMPs group and asked them what they recommended and kept hearing about the Sckoon cup. I bought my Sckoon cup and let me just say-I LOVE IT so much I bought a second one. I cannot ever feel it while it's in, and it pops open much easier than the Diva. It is more flexible and softer than the Diva. As long as I empty it often enough, it does not leak. It fits very well and I can tell very easily that I have it in correctly over my cervix. I have been using my Sckoon for several months now.

I love using a cup so much, and I am even excited about my homemade cloth liners! I got so excited I wanted to spread the word about RUMPs so I wrote to some companies asking for stickers/pamphlets and such to leave in restrooms. One of the companies I wrote to was FemmyCycle. FemmyCycle was so awesome, they sent me pamphlets and even asked me to try a sample and give a review for their menstrual cup. Within a week I had a FemmyCycle to try.

My thoughts on the FemmyCycle are mixed. I got the regular FemmyCycle cup. They do have a low cervix option available. I must say, this cup does not leak IF PLACED CORRECTLY. However, I have been having a lot of difficulty getting it to unfold completely and therefore have had a few issues with leaking. If I understand correctly, the FemmyCycle is designed not to open all the way. I think it is confusing because even though it does not have to open completely, it does have to unfold completely in order for it not to leak. I have trouble getting it to unfold and also knowing if it is unfolded because it is so large. This part is a little bit frustrating but I haven't had horrible messes or anything, so it's still catching most of what it is supposed to even if it's still a little folded. I also have experienced minor cramps from the firmness and how large it is. I have only used it for 2 cycles, and some cups can take several cycles to learn. I obviously need a little more practice with this cup since its shape is different than the Sckoon and Diva cups and I need to get familiar with how it feels when it's open AND unfolded like it should be. I do like it for my heavy day even if I have to put up with cramping as I don't have to empty the FemmyCycle as much due to it's larger capacity. I have to empty my Sckoon about every 4 to 5 hours on my heavy day and work bathrooms are not the most ideal for rinsing out a menstrual cup. With the FemmyCycle I can go my whole work day and not have to empty it until I get home. On light days, I use my Sckoon and empty it every 8 to 12 hours.


At the end of my cycles I boil my cups and put them away. I keep one in my purse and one in my bathroom. Less waste, less time AND money spent on my periods, and more freedom during activities like swimming and playing sports. I never feel like my cup is going to fall out, nor has it done so. I have had tampons fall out before or at least feel like they're going to fall out and that is not a pleasant feeling. I never liked using tampons and I never liked the waste caused by using pads/tampons. This solves many of my period problems, and is healthier for my body. What's not to like?


Still think it's gross? Read the following blogs addressing the "ick factor."
http://paleomovement.com/ladies-menstrual-cup-can-change-life-least-period/
http://www.mommygreenest.com/why-i-heart-my-menstrual-cup/
http://lunapads.com/blog/2010/09/cloth-pads-gross/
http://www.overthrowmartha.com/2014/05/menstrual-cups.html

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN ROLLER DERBY IN THE LAST DECADE....

I get this question so much: “YOU play roller derby?” This question is accompanied by an incredulous look and usually the statement, “but you’re so small.” So what. I am powerful and strong and I can hit people and take big hits too. This is a misconception based on my size.

Not only do people have misconceptions about me when I mention that I play roller derby, but most of these same people (people who have never seen modern-day roller derby) have many misconceptions about the sport of roller derby itself.  I have had countless conversations in the past 6 years of my derby “career” clearing up some of those misconceptions.  Maybe more people would take the time to step into an arena where roller derby is happening if they could be educated about what roller derby is NOT. This is my attempt to inform the uninformed public.

Misconception #1 – Roller Derby girls have to be big girls. Or they have to be lesbians. Or they have to have tattoos.

Roller derby players come in all shapes and sizes and walks of life and career backgrounds. We have parents too. Some players have tattoos, some don’t. Sexual identity among derby players is just as diverse as the Kinsey scale itself. Some look tough, some look sweet. 

Misconception #2 – Roller derby is not a sport. And there are scantily clad women who fight each other.

Briefly, about the staged fighting, IT IS AGAINST THE RULES!!! You want to see a fight, go to hockey. You want to see staged fights, go to WWE. Roller derby rules can be found at http://wftda.com/rules. Read them. They will help you understand the game. YES we have rules. Roller derby still has big, exciting hits and plays. Roller derby doesn't need fighting to be exciting. :) Football is exciting without fighting. Roller derby athletes work as hard as any other athlete to be the best at what we do and we can do it on skates. That takes more than just skill.

Personally, I like the ability to be able to express one's self as a roller derby athlete by wearing fishnets or colorful tights or socks if I want to.  Wearing these items makes a roller derby athlete no more scantily clad than any other female athlete. See my previous blog covering this subject: https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2105450644433191333#editor/target=post;postID=6582921207566927863;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=10;src=postname

 

The beautiful, artistic form of an athlete shows what can come from continuous hard work and perseverance. Not only that, why would we want to cover up those hard-working bodies when it's so hot out there on the track? Watching roller derby athletes in action is a phenomenal experience in my opinion. If you watch Dancing With the Stars contestants, female volleyball players, or just go to the beach or pool you will see revealing clothing. Heck, you can go to Walmart and see revealing clothing. In my opinion roller derby athletes' physiques are more appealing than those you might encounter at a Walmart or a public pool/beach. We practice several times a week to prepare for this hard-hitting, fast-paced game that is full of endurance. Roller derby athletes' bodies let us do these things week after week, year after year, and that is what sporting is about. Doing your best so you can be your best at what you do.

All ORG skaters are required to be professional in their attire and cover all naughty bits if you are still skeptical.

Misconception #3 – Roller derby athletes get paid to play.

Don’t I wish?!!! The amount of time I spend on this sport is well over part-time job status but I only get paid for my full-time job as an administrative assistant. Skaters pay dues, hold fundraisers, and set up for our own games along with many other tasks on a long list of necessary functions that help make a league run. Leagues are run by skaters/league members and volunteers with the help of sponsors and our community. Volunteers make up most of our official team whom we are so appreciative of! My league has a board of directors as well as job positions that members hold to take care of the day to day business and earn required participation points.  Attendance is a requirement as well in order to skate in scrimmages and games.

I think everyone should come to a bout at least once, if for nothing else than to be educated about your misconceptions. Roller derby games are full of fun, excitement, and action! Plus the kids love it and we love signing autographs for them! View the Omaha Rollergirls’ schedule here: http://www.omaharollergirls.org/schedule Come out and see us!

Satisfactory Struggles

I have been getting to know myself better in my 30s. I know my weaknesses as well as my strengths. I am independent, courageous, optimistic, enthusiastic, and generous. I continue to work on having more patience, thinking of others over myself, not letting my feelings control my words, and thinking things through before acting. I have come to realize my true friends/family accept all of these things and accept me for who I am, shortcomings included.

Many times we see in others the things we don't like about ourselves. Instead of working on ourselves we choose not to like a person because we don't want to face ourselves and our shortcomings. We fail to see that person's strengths as a result of focusing on the negative. How hurtful that can be.

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. -Buddha

I have never been popular and it used to harm my self esteem, but I have come to realize that sometimes my strength, courage, optimism, enthusiasm, generosity, determination, fearlessness, and independence can rub people the wrong way and I am not meant to be their friend. Maybe I remind them of who they are not or maybe I speak too much truth for a certain individual's liking. I have never been good at lying so I don't practice it. My self esteem is not defined by how many friends I have or which party I am invited to or how many likes I get on Facebook. It is defined by me. I am many things. I am worthy, I am caring, I am understanding, I am compassionate, I am passionate, and I am someone's mother. I am happy, successful, and beautiful. I am not perfect. But I am me.

 

If we get our self-esteem from superficial places, from our popularity, appearance, business success, financial situation, health, any of these, we will be disappointed, because no one can guarantee that we'll have them tomorrow. -Kathy Ireland

Don't Honk at Me---It's Illegal & RUDE!

I cannot believe the ignorance of people sometimes. It clearly states in the Nebraska Driver's Manual, "Do not blast a vehicle's horn when approaching a bicyclist." I got honked and yelled at twice yesterday! Those people only succeeded in making themselves look like asses because of their ignorance. And because they were the only one breaking any laws.

Bullying a bicyclist must feel really powerful to those that do it.

As it states in the NE driver's manual, "A person riding a bicycle has all the same rights and responsibilities as a driver of a motor vehicle; bicyclists must obey traffic laws."

Here's how to think of a cyclist: They are a tractor.

Since bicycles are typically slower than cars, trucks, etc., think of them as a tractor. They are still a vehicle but they are incapable of going as fast. So what should a driver do? Wait until it is safe to pass and go around. Simple.

Remember though, when you go around, give 3 feet of room to the left of the cyclist as also stated in the NE driver's manual, "Motorists overtaking a bicycle proceeding in the same direction should leave a safe distance of no less than 3 feet clearance, when applicable, when passing a bicycle and shall maintain such clearance until safely past the overtaken bicycle."

A bicyclist is no match for a vehicle weighing thousands of pounds and it sucks a cyclist cannot stop a vehicle from taking chances with their life. The value of that life is more important than valuing getting to a destination 8 seconds faster. More people need to be patient, fair, and show respect for the fact that cyclists who commute have the right to use the road and should be able to do that as safely as possible.

Bicycling is Rather Lovely

I love cycling! I love it almost as much as roller derby as a way to exercise and stay fit. I feel so proud when I reach my destination each time, love the wind flying through my hair, love the challenge of climbing hills, love riding with friends/family, and it has been a real time-saver in getting a workout in almost daily while commuting at the same time. I'm such a multi-tasker.

I started cycling about 3 years ago because a: I needed to cross train for derby, b: I wanted to save money on gas, c: I didn't have time for a workout outside of commuting time, and d: I hate parking 3 blocks away from work. It also helps reduce my carbon footprint which benefits our earth which I like a lot.

In the beginning I made lots of excuses not to ride (it's raining, I have to get up 20-30 minutes earlier, too tired, etc.) and probably only commuted by bicycle 1-2 times a week, 3 if I had a good week. The 2nd year I did a little more probably commuting 3 to 4 times a week at least every other week. This year I have exceeded the monthly miles of the previous year by at least 20 miles each month, although in May this year I did 60 more miles than last May. The extreme jump in May was because I decided to hook up a trail-a-bike for my daughter so that we could commute to her school as well. It was difficult at times, especially up hills, but to ride 10 miles total each day gave me a pretty awesome feeling.

Over the summer it got more difficult to commute with my daughter since her daycare location was 5 miles from home the opposite way from work. There were a few times we rode the bus and I biked from her daycare but I wanted more and I wanted an easier way to have my daughter ride with me that didn't make me feel like the bike was gonna tip over when I stood up on it to go up the hill.

The solution:

My new Yuba Boda Boda!!!

I have had this bicycle for about a week and I love what I am able to do with it. I can bike almost wherever we need to go because this bike not only carries the rider, it carries a second adult rider (or 2 children), PLUS a load. This bike is made for carrying loads and can be ridden in all kinds of weather, and is still not too much bike for just myself with no load/passenger(s).  I have already biked 11 miles on the trail with my daughter and rode 5 miles to her daycare and then 4 miles each way to work once, ridden 4 miles each way to work by myself twice, and will do the daycare/work commute again for the last day there.  We would have ridden 4 days this week, except we had to unexpectedly take care of and eventually put our little chihuahua to sleep so needed to take the car to the vet's office daily for a while while she was ill. After this week my daughter returns to school and we will have a more efficient ride there than last year so likely will do it most every day. Riding 15 miles in 1 day for commuting feels pretty awesome. Riding more will be great for my health AND my pocket book.

I have learned that I am never disappointed if I take the ride on the days when the voices in my head tell me I don't wanna, but I do get disappointed if I eat a donut and I didn't ride that day. Riding almost always helps me cancel out any cheating I do on my diet. If I don't cheat on my diet I am able to maintain my current weight very easily. I also find I am more likely to ride if I get everything ready the night before. It doesn't really take anymore time to get the bike out and get helmets on than using the car either.

We have some kinks to work out such as dressing for weather that isn't necessarily ideal for cycling, but we will learn just as we have learned the past 3 years, we can take small steps towards our goal of riding year round to commute.

Dislike-The Energy Thief

“When we dislike someone, or feel threatened by someone, the natural tendency is to focus on something we dislike about the person, something that irritates us. Unfortunately, when we do this--instead of seeing the deeper beauty of the person and giving them energy--we take energy away and actually do them harm. All they know is that they suddenly feel less beautiful and less confident, and it is because we sapped their energy.” -James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy

In my experience, there are few reasons I have found for disliking someone. In the rare instance I truly dislike someone it is because:
A. I don't trust them-they are a liar, cheat, or unreliable (no consideration for anyone but self),
B. I don't respect them-usually brought on by A or some other offensive behavior,
-or-
C. I am threatened by them (which is really brought on by my own insecurity unless they are literally threatening my life).

Now, being that I am a mother, I have found my kids at times to fall into these categories which taught me that just because you don't like something about someone doesn't mean you shouldn't love them or build up their self esteem. I love my children no matter what they do or say and if I say anything mean/hurtful because of my dislike for their behavior, they feel hurt, inadequate, and deflated and I feel guilty and upset that I hurt them and feel inadequate as a parent. I want to encourage my kids to make good decisions and help them learn through empathetic and loving consequences when they make bad choices. If I knock them down, how will they ever love themselves enough to share that love with humanity? Because as we all know, humanity is sure to knock them down at one time or another. I want them to get back up with courage, dignity, and forgiveness and come out stronger and better because of it.

I have learned that it takes more energy (and it isn't the good kind of energy either) to actively dislike someone than to love them. It is sad that humanity thrives on this kind of behavior sometimes, which is why I don't put my faith or hope in humanity.

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast, and is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. Love is never happy when others do wrong but it is always happy with the truth. Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits.**

I remember these words when humanity becomes ugly. I have found more often than not, humanity can become beautiful to me again. Build each other up. Love and light.

** 1 Corinthians 13