Life=The Endless Lesson

I came across these life lessons on another blog and thought I would share them with you.  The author's name is Jonathan.  I think Jonathan has a pretty good idea about life and the lessons it has to teach us all.

1. Often those who aren’t the easiest to love are the ones who need it the most.
2. Seeing children play can make even the bluest day brighter.
3. Money is not the root of all evil, fear is.
4. The secret to happiness is the acceptance of yourself.
5. Happiness is not based on external status, it is an internal state.
6. Money can’t make me happy, but self-sufficiency gives me the freedom to share myself creatively, without worrying about how I’m going to pay the bills.
7. Every man has a right to choose his own destiny.
8. The path is the way.
9. Coming is going, going is coming.
10. The hardest is found in the easiest.
11. Heaven and hell exist here and now, within your own mind.
12. Life is the largest stage.
13. Music is one of the most supreme expressions of life. It is art in it’s most transitory form. It is gone within an instant, and therefore, extremely precious.
14. Follow your gut, you’ll thank yourself later.
15. Remember what your mother taught you, it came from the most sacred place of love that exists.
16. Never let an argument last, never hold a grudge, it will make your heart heavy.
17. Forgive those that have yet to do you wrong, and you won’t have to worry about it should the time come.
18. Be grateful for this moment, it is all there is.
19. The source of most of your frustrations and anxiety are the result of living in the future, or the past.
20. Spend time alone with yourself every day.
21. Always go with yourself, never against yourself.
22. You have to be your own best friend.
23. If you don’t like what someone else says to you, you can walk away. But if you don’t like what you say to yourself, you can’t walk away. Therefore, if you’re going to be with yourself all the time, you might as well be nice to yourself.
24. The truth shall indeed set you free.
25. Lies only exist if we believe in them.
26. Even the most fundamental beliefs about reality are not true in themselves. Our thinking makes them true in our experience.
27. Your thoughts create reality.
28. The biggest lie is the lie of your imperfection.
29. Being kind is more important than being right.
30. Your heart is your best compass.
31. Cherish those that you love, you never know if you’ll see them again.
32. Your beliefs are a filter for your reality.
33. Love is the supreme expression of life, it is the essence and ground of all creation.

Live, laugh, and most of all LOVE.  Have a happy, long Memorial Day weekend and enjoy it with those you love.  Be safe too.

Another Victim of Senseless Violence

Copied from another blogger:

Roller derby is one big family. No matter where you live or who you play for, we help out our own in their most troubled times.

Lori, aka Lmbr Timber Onu #88 of Emerald Coast Roller Derby, was the victim of a horrific domestic violence attack on Easter Sunday. She remains hospitalized with serious injuries from being kicked repeatedly in the face.

Not only is Lori a derby girl, but she served in the US Air Force and was deployed to Saudia Arabia during Operation Southern Watch while protecting the then “No Fly Zone” over Iraq.

Lori is now a full-time student pursuing a master’s in social work and is a single mother of 2 daughters. She now needs our help to cover the medical expenses from emergent care and reconstructive surgery.

Whether you want to support someone who served our country, help out a fellow derby girl, or simply take some direct action in the fight against domestic violence, please donate.

If you would like to make a donation, you can send it to :

First Citizens National Bank Attn: Scott Luce
391 Main Street, Genesee PA 16923

Checks need to be made payable to : Kristine Milkeris-Smith

Please write : “Lori Milkeris medical” in the memo line

For more information please visit:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lori-Aid-2011/195305623846343?sk=wall

Derby Breaks Hearts

I haven't written in a while...writer's block I guess.  I will try anyway since I have had things spinning around in my head.

Fact:  I LOVE roller derby.

Fact:  Derby has broken my heart MANY times.

Fact:  Derby will NOT love me back.

Fact:  I STILL love roller derby.

Derby is not for the faint of heart.  This is my opinion, not fact.  I have been involved in derby for over 3 years.  When I first started, I misunderstood the goals of the team as they were not clearly spoken.  Maybe it would have saved me some heartache had the goals been clearly stated from the beginning, but that doesn't really matter now.

In my first season with my team, if I wasn't put in a game or jam I thought it was because my team didn't believe in me.  I believed in myself so much that someone told me I entered the pack with no fear.  I had my ass handed to me many times, but I would get right back up and keep entering that pack with no fear.  This went on, scrimmage after scrimmage, bout after bout, but eventually, I started doubting myself and it affected my performance and my attitude.

I made the decision to work harder outside of practice to better myself so my team would see how hard I was working.  Throughout my second and third season I got put in the game more and more as I improved my speed, skill, agility and experience.  This boosted my ego little by little.  But I would have my heart broken many times even during this time.  I won't go into all the details, but there can only be 5 girls from a team out on the track at a time, and if I wasn't chosen it was hard not to take it personally. 

When the new girls came in each season during boot camp, I would watch them with indifference at first because I didn't want them taking my place of course, but then would see them struggle with things I struggled with and it made me empathetic.  Some believe in themselves and the ones that don't struggle even longer.  I see derby breaking their hearts too.  I halfway want them to play and I would gladly sit out if I could take their anguish and frustration away.  They have become sisters to me.  We fall, get hurt, sweat, bleed, laugh, cry, and experience ups and downs TOGETHER, just like family.

What doesn't kill you will make you stronger right?  So it goes with hearts broken by derby.  The good that comes out of getting up each time you are knocked down (by life, not on the rink) is learning to love yourself.  Every time derby didn't go the way I thought it should go, I thought of how I could make it better.  I stopped smoking, I eat healthier, I exercise 10+ hours per week, and I make quality family time because I need it.  I have found that the more I love myself, the more I am able to love those around me, including my derby family.  The new girls will go through the same heartache, and I can only pray that they are strong enough to endure so they can learn this HARD lesson too. 

If you were wondering, I made it to the Allstars team in my second season and now, entering my fourth season, I probably play 50% of each game.  I continue to have my ass handed to me at times too, and I just get right back up and skate my face off.  Hard work AND LOVING YOURSELF does pay off.

Loving IS Letting Go

Buddy was the best dog ever!  My 14-year-old son was a baby when we got him.  He was a hyper, yet very gentle dog.  My kids could sit on him, pull his eyes, and basically do anything else to that dog and he wouldn't even growl.  I always thought of him as the best example of God I would ever see on earth.  He was so forgiving and so ready to please. 

A friend told me that when we chose to let him go we returned the love he had for us.  That is comforting at this most difficult time.

You see, yesterday we put our 15-year-old dog Buddy to sleep.  It was probably THE hardest thing I have ever had to do in my lifetime.  I keep picturing him going and I feel horrible, yet at the same time I know we did the right thing.  His body gave out way before his heart did, and we just couldn't make him stick around as long as he wanted to for us.  We love him too much to have watched him suffer.

I already miss him whining to go outside.  The house seems empty without him there.  My other dog Missy knows something is different too, but not sure if it has really sunk in for her.  The look she gave me when I left for work was a puzzled one.  I hope she doesn't get too depressed.

I miss him more than I thought possible and I thank God for giving me such a long time with him.  He was one old dog.  RIP Buddy.  I'll see you again someday.

Open Your Mind, Body, and SPIRIT

I have learned a little something about the spirit.  The spirit as defined by the dictionary is "soul, atmosphere, essence, etc."  My definition of spirit is the innermost, deepest being where the strongest feelings dwell.

When the spirit is closed, a person may act out, withdraw or argue.  A spirit closes when it is offended.  The spirit becomes offended when someone feels unloved, promises are broken, spoken to harshly, or insulted.  A closed spirit can result in broken relationships and worse.

When the spirit is open deep conversations happen, quality time is spent, and harmony ensues.

Suggestions for reopening/keeping the spirit open:
1. Be tenderhearted.
2. Increase understanding-meaning learn another point-of-view
3. Recognize your wrongdoings
4. Attempt to touch in a loving way
5. Seek forgiveness

Keeping a person's spirit open is extremely important, especially so in childhood, for self esteem and well-being.  Keep this at the forefront of your mind before reacting to any situation that involves another person.  You don't know how closed or broken another person's spirit is, so don't be the person who breaks or closes it further, even if you're having a bad day.

Blessing Bondage

Flying in with abandon
Leaves no ground to land on
The fallout I fail to see
Shows itself eventually
Powerless to fix the mess
Slowly I begin to digress

This bondage is way bigger than me
I give it away so I can be free
Father please transform my heart
With you I know we can start
Throwing anger and hatred to the wind
Your love and patience only can mend

-Kathy Lewis

Happy to Be Me

I feel so liberated this day!  I have come to a realization. 

Much to my dismay growing up, my father didn't always know how to show me he loves me.  Don't get me wrong, I know my dad does love me but we don't speak the same love language (not even close), so I have not always felt loved by him.  I have continued to go through life looking for other people's approval because I never felt I had his.  The realization I came to the other day is that I should live life to the fullest, do things I enjoy, and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.  If I am happy with my own life what does it matter if someone else approves or disapproves?  Maybe some people are unhappy with their own life but would rather find the imperfections of others to build themselves up.

We can build others up, but I believe we have to build ourselves up first.  We can only change ourselves.  I have realized that what I think about myself is what matters, not what everyone else thinks.  I have often questioned if I am doing the right thing when I spend so much time doing roller derby.  I now know I am doing the right thing because it challenges me to push myself beyond my limits and I am the only one who can muster up the courage to do these things.  People cannot do it for me.  Derby is where I have found this courage.  I tell myself I am going to do something and I do it.  I don't tell myself I can't do something.

Maybe that's why I didn't feel my dad's love-I remember him telling me I couldn't do certain things.  And they were things I really wanted to do, like being a singer.  But I never did any of those things he told me I couldn't.  Roller derby is the one thing I had dreams about and I am living those dreams.  And then come to find out, my dad is proud of me for playing.  He watches me live online when the bouts I play in show on DNN.

Parents (especially fathers with daughters), tell your kids they can do anything they set their mind to, and don't stand in their way even if you don't totally approve.  Kids have to learn a lot on their own, but if they have parental support, I think they learn sooner and better.  That makes for wiser adults.

I am healthier than I have ever been in my adult life.  I am happier too.  I finally truly love myself because I know that I am lovable.  I also realize in order to love others, I have to love me first.  I feel free.  Free to be me.