Monday, May 20, 2013

Dislike-The Energy Thief

“When we dislike someone, or feel threatened by someone, the natural tendency is to focus on something we dislike about the person, something that irritates us. Unfortunately, when we do this--instead of seeing the deeper beauty of the person and giving them energy--we take energy away and actually do them harm. All they know is that they suddenly feel less beautiful and less confident, and it is because we sapped their energy.” -James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy

In my experience, there are few reasons I have found for disliking someone. In the rare instance I truly dislike someone it is because:
A. I don't trust them-they are a liar, cheat, or unreliable (no consideration for anyone but self),
B. I don't respect them-usually brought on by A or some other offensive behavior,
C. I am threatened by them (which is really brought on by my own insecurity unless they are literally threatening my life).

Now, being that I am a mother, I have found my kids at times to fall into these categories which taught me that just because you don't like something about someone doesn't mean you shouldn't love them or build up their self esteem. I love my children no matter what they do or say and if I say anything mean/hurtful because of my dislike for their behavior, they feel hurt, inadequate, and deflated and I feel guilty and upset that I hurt them and feel inadequate as a parent. I want to encourage my kids to make good decisions and help them learn through empathetic and loving consequences when they make bad choices. If I knock them down, how will they ever love themselves enough to share that love with humanity? Because as we all know, humanity is sure to knock them down at one time or another. I want them to get back up with courage, dignity, and forgiveness and come out stronger and better because of it.

I have learned that it takes more energy (and it isn't the good kind of energy either) to actively dislike someone than to love them. It is sad that humanity thrives on this kind of behavior sometimes, which is why I don't put my faith or hope in humanity.

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast, and is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. Love is never happy when others do wrong but it is always happy with the truth. Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits.**

I remember these words when humanity becomes ugly. I have found more often than not, humanity can become beautiful to me again. Build each other up. Love and light.

** 1 Corinthians 13